


Unfold

by NuwandaSnicket



Category: Lawrence of Arabia (1962)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Fluff and Smut, Historical Inaccuracy, M/M, Past Sexual Assault, Romance, movieverse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-22
Updated: 2018-08-27
Packaged: 2019-07-01 03:20:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15765546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NuwandaSnicket/pseuds/NuwandaSnicket
Summary: Reunited in England, Ali and Lawrence reconnect after years apart.  Can they put back the pieces and salvage what was lost?  Were there any feelings there to salvage?Sounds angsty but its really mainly romance with some angsty flashbacks.  Based on the film so there's historical inaccuracy, though I've tried to anchor it with truth.In this story, Lawrence never re-enlisted.





	1. Chapter 1

It was a Wednesday, at 1:00 in the afternoon. The weather that day was fairly typical, for England. The sky was cloudy, and though it wasn’t cold, there was still a slight chill in the air. 

Ali loved it.

It wasn’t at all what he was used to. It was the farthest thing from what he was used to. Well, maybe not the absolute farthest. That would be rain. Maybe, if he was lucky, he would get to see some of that before they returned to Arabia.

He couldn’t think of that now, though. He had to concentrate. This was the first year that he personally would be presenting at the Peace Talks. Out of all the politicians they had, he was their best, and he had been chosen to represent them at the conference this year, a matter for which he was extremely proud. Then again, he’d had the most practice, had studied the longest….had the best teacher.

_…..Aurens…._

His heart still ached when he thought of the man. It had been three years since they had last spoken, since that night they had parted in Damascus, and there hadn’t been a day when Ali hadn’t thought of him, hadn’t missed him with every fiber of his being. He had tried to let go, but he just couldn’t, and it was frustrating beyond belief, and more painful than he could say. Just as terrible was knowing that Aurens might be here at the conference today.

Ali knew that Aurens wasn’t involved in the military any longer, but he still worked in the Foreign Office. Feisal saw him now and then, and spoke to him extremely frequently. Ali could always tell when the two had spoken. Feisal always had that _Look_ , an expression of almost….pity. As though he knew exactly how Ali felt about Aurens. For all Ali knew, he did. It wouldn’t be surprising. Feisal always seemed to know everything.

He couldn’t make up his mind whether he wanted to bump into Aurens or not. His nerves had been on edge since before they had even reached England.

Ali smoothed his hair for what had to be the fifteenth time in the past ten minutes, and caught Auda smirking at him. “What,” he demanded. 

“He’ll be here.”

“Who,” the word came unbidden, even though Ali knew very well who Auda meant.

“You know who.” Clearly Ali wasn’t fooling anyone. Auda always had seen right through him when Aurens was concerned. “El Aurens.”

“How do you know?” Too late, Ali realized that he had just confirmed that he was thinking about Aurens, and the color rose in his cheeks. 

“Feisal told me.”

At that, Ali’s heart skipped a beat. If anyone would know, it would be Feisal. For a moment, he felt miffed that Feisal would tell Auda and not him, but it was easy to figure out why. If he himself was unsure whether or not he wanted to see Aurens, Feisal wouldn’t want to risk Ali running off. He was the best politician they had. Certainly Feisal wouldn’t want to be left alone with Auda, who had never been good at diplomacy.

But then….

_…..Aurens…._

The image swam in his head. That golden-blonde head, hair a tousled mess. The piercing blue eyes that always seemed to see right through him. The devil-may-care smile. His heart was racing.

Yes, he wanted to see Aurens. He just didn’t know how he would survive the meeting. It had been too long.

He realized Auda was still regarding him, and that the knowing smirk had grown. He scowled. “Shut up.” The man simply laughed. Ali had no time to reply, for the conference was beginning. Still scowling, he followed the crowd into the main room. Feisal regarded him with an arched brow, but Ali barely noticed, for there he was.

Aurens.

He looked exactly the same as when Ali had last seen him, other than the clothes. He was in European clothing, a traditional black suit which, while he looked very nice (Ali had never seen him in anything other than British military garb or Arab robes), Ali couldn’t help but think he looked somehow….awkward. Uncomfortable. As if he would rather be wearing something else. Though maybe that was just wishful thinking. The discomfort might also have been due to his newfound fame. 

The reports that had been released about Aurens had received much more attention than any of them had ever expected. Certainly not Aurens himself. For all his grandstanding in front of his men, he was not one to seek attention that was not given freely. Ali had overheard Feisal speaking with Auda about how the newspapers had plastered Aurens’ name and face all over them, making him out to be….well……..nothing he _wasn’t_. A hero. Aurens _was_ a hero. But by spreading his name and photos everywhere, these stories ruined any chance Aurens had at ever achieving a normal life. Everyone knew him now. His legend would never die. Ali knew that Aurens would _hate_ that. All he had wanted when he left Arabia was to return home to a life of peace and quiet. He looked at Aurens now, standing there in his dark suit, and yes, he was certain that the man was unhappy with the life he had been leading.

Then Auda’s elbow connected knowingly with Ali’s ribs, jarringly hard. “Ow!” The yelp of surprised pain managed to cut through the noise in the already loud conference chamber, and the Harith found a room full of eyes staring at him. Never one to back down from attention, he stared down every person….until he came face to face with a pair of very familiar blue eyes. Aurens was looking right at him, amusement plainly written on his face. Ali wanted to be irritated but he couldn’t, not with that smile curving across those lips he loved so much. He glowered at Aurens, the expression he knew the man would recognize immediately after all their time spent together, the look which threatened reprisal for this indignity. Aurens clearly got the message, for he let out a very undignified snort of laughter, which quickly found him now the object of scrutiny.

A wave of happiness washed over Ali. Everything he had hoped for, had felt deep down within him, was true. His Aurens was still in there.

The meeting should have been insufferable, but Ali found it all fascinating (truly, there was a reason he had gone into politics). When it was his turn to speak, he couldn’t help but be aware of Aurens’ eyes on him the entire time, a fact which made the color rise to his cheeks. Still, he somehow managed to make it through without faltering, a matter for which he was extremely proud.

Feisal was proud of him as well, which felt even better, as it did when other delegates came up to him after the meeting to shake his hand. He had presented their people in a good light. Nothing could feel better than that.

“Hello, Sherif Ali.”

…..maybe one thing.

Turning, Ali came face to face with Aurens. The man was smiling, pure happiness on his face, and a sense of shyness that Ali had never seen there. Aurens was never shy. Ali didn’t know it was even possible. “Hello, Colonel Aurens.”

Aurens’ smile faltered at that. It was like a stab to the heart. Ali rushed on. “Or is El Aurens still alright?”

The beautiful smile had returned. “For you? Just Aurens is perfect.”

Joy flooded Ali, warm and beautiful. “Aurens, then.”

“Colonel Lawrence?” It was a reporter. “Would you mind taking a photograph?” He was gesturing to where Feisal was standing with Auda, who was still giving Ali that knowing smile. Somehow, Ali couldn’t find it in himself to care anymore.

Aurens looked to Ali with a smile. “Do you mind?”

“Not at all.” They headed to join the others. Aurens and Feisal greeted each other warmly, as old friends accustomed to speaking often. Auda, on the other hand, was much more boisterous. 

“Hello, Aurens!” He pulled the man into an embrace and, laughing, Aurens returned it. “You are to take a picture with Feisal and Ali?”

“I am.”

“Here.” Auda undid his headscarf. “We must have you look the part.”

“Auda, that’s really not necessary,” Aurens protested, but the photographer was clearly keen on the idea.

“No, put it on! That’ll be great!”

“Here, Ali, why don’t you help him?” There was a glint in Auda’s eye. Ali half glared at him, but he truly had no objections to helping Aurens, so he took the keffiyeh. Then, he hesitated, looking to Aurens. 

“Do you mind?”

Smiling, Aurens shook his head. “Please.” And he ducked his head down so Ali could put it in place, gently brushing back a stray lock of golden hair as he did so.

“….there,” Ali whispered, looking into those deep blue eyes. “Perfect.” He knew, even if Aurens didn’t, that he was speaking of more than just the scarf.

“Thank you.” Aurens’ voice was equally soft; he showed no inclination to break Ali’s gaze. Both were startled when the photographer spoke up, shattering the silence.

“Okay, we all set? Let’s all get in place.”

Auda, who refused to get his picture taken, scurried out of the way. The rest of them positioned themselves for a photo. Feisal was naturally in the front, Majid to his left, and Ali…..Ali had Aurens by his side. Right where he was supposed to be.

The camera flashed and Ali risked a glance, only to find Aurens already looking his way, a smile gracing that beautiful mouth. A blush rose to his cheeks and he ducked his head, but he couldn’t help looking back almost immediately. The affection in Aurens’ eyes was doing funny things to his heart. It made him want to risk it all. So he did. 

“You…..are you busy today, Aurens?”

“Yes.” The answer felt like a blow to the chest, but Aurens wasn’t finished yet. “I’m spending my day with you.”

For a moment, Ali was too relieved, too happy, to react. Then, he smacked Aurens’ shoulder. 

“Ow!”

“You are cruel, Aurens.”

Aurens laughed. “I’m sorry.”

Ali tried to glower but it was no use, not when Aurens was looking at him with that goofy grin on his face, that headscarf bringing Ali back to their days in the desert, back when they were happy….when they were together. 

“Ahem.”

Auda’s cough broke the moment. He was grinning at them both. “May I have my keffiyeh back, Aurens?”

“Oh! Of course, Auda.” Aurens offered the borrowed scarf. “Thank you very much for loaning it.”

“You’re welcome.” Auda glanced back and forth between the two men. “Maybe we will see you tonight at dinner?” Another knowing gleam came into his eye. “And then again, maybe not.” With that, he turned and left. Aurens looked to Ali with puzzlement.

“Whatever did he mean by that?”

Cheeks burning, Ali shook his head. “I have no idea.”

Aurens shrugged. “Oh well. Shall we?”

Ali had no idea what Aurens had in mind, but he would have followed him anywhere. In a way, he always had. “Where are we going?”

“Don’t know.” Aurens paused at the foot of the front steps. “Where do you want to go?”

“I….” Ali bit his lip. He didn’t know if it would sound too forward. But then, they had always been completely honest with one another. “I would like to see your home.” He knew that Aurens had built himself a small cottage. Though Ali never asked Feisal for news of Aurens (it would hurt too much), Auda kept up with every letter and would drop tidbits of information here and there. He knew that Ali secretly wanted to know, despite his feigned indifference. Ali clung to every bit of news, holding it to his heart like precious jewels.

Aurens looked pleasantly surprised. “Alright.” Taking Ali’s hand, he gave him a gentle tug. “This way.” Ali thrilled at the slight contact, following Aurens over to…..a motorcycle. Immediately, he shied away. 

“No.”

It looked as though Aurens had been expecting this. Possibly even why he had taken Ali’s hand, to discourage him from backing away. He knew that the Harith didn’t even like bicycles; how he expected to convince him onto a motorcycle was beyond Ali’s comprehension. “Ali, they’re perfectly safe.”

“Like hell they are.”

Brows shot up at the expression; Aurens burst out laughing. “That’s a new one.” Ali was too upset to be amused by Aurens’ surprise.

“I picked up many things during my recent studies.”

“Apparently so.” But he could see that Ali wasn’t going to back down. Sighing, he stepped forward and gently took Ali’s face in his hands. “Ali, you have to trust me.”

“I do trust you.” Ali gestured to the bike. “I do not trust THAT.”

Aurens stifled a smile. “Ali.” Reluctantly, dark eyes met blue. The gaze held for several minutes while Aurens silently implored Ali to trust him, believe in him. Finally, Ali heaved a sigh.

“Fine, Aurens. You win.”

The Englishman brightened. “Really?”

“Really.” Ali looked down at the bike, shaking his head. “I am going to regret this.”

“You won’t. Now, tuck up your robes.” Ali looked at Aurens like he was crazy. Aurens gestured. “You don’t want them to get caught on anything. Sit down and then tuck them up beneath you.”

Ali did as he was told, heaving yet another sigh. “The things I do for you.”

Aurens laughed. “I appreciate all of them.” He waited as Ali got positioned, looking to make sure that everything was in order and safe. Once satisfied, he climbed onto the bike in front of Ali. “Arms around my waist.” Ali obeyed without hesitating, unaware that the action sent as big a thrill through Aurens as it did through him. “Now hold on tight.” He gunned the bike to life and they were off, down the road to Aurens’ house and…..what? Ali didn’t know what the night held in store for them, but whatever it was, he was with Aurens. Nothing could upset him now.

 

**~tbc~**


	2. Chapter 2

It was terrifying for the first few moments, just as Ali knew it would be. It was much faster than he had ever ridden before. Ali gripped Aurens’ waist tightly and pressed close to him. That bit was nice. 

Then, to his great surprise, Ali found himself enjoying the ride. It may have been much faster than he was used to, but it was much smoother as well. The wind in his face was a nice feeling. And pressed against Aurens like this…..that felt more than nice. 

Then, it began to rain. Not just rain....pour. Aurens immediately slowed the motorcycle.

"Why do you slow down?" Ali shouted the words to be heard over the roar of the bike and the pounding of the rain.

"I don't want to get in a crash. You know," and he glanced over his shoulder, smiling at Ali, "…precious cargo."

Ali realized Aurens was talking about him, and he forced a glare in order to keep yet another blush off his face. "Best keep your eyes on the road, then." With a laugh, Aurens obeyed.

It was at least eight minutes more before they arrived at their destination, and both men were thoroughly soaked. Ali barely had time to take in the cottage, though from what he saw, it seemed a fine place. But Aurens had his hand again, and was dragging him in out of the rain.

"You're soaked," the Englishman observed. "We must get you into some dry clothes.”

It was only then that Ali realized all his belongings were back at the hotel with Feisal and Auda. "I have none with me.”

"Oh." It seemed as though Aurens hadn't really thought this through, either. "Right." But he shrugged, unbothered. "Well, you'll just have to wear something of mine for the night."

"Yours? The night?" Ali wasn't sure he was hearing correctly. 

"Yes, Ali, the night. Unless that rain stops, it isn't safe to take the bike back out. I'm afraid you may be stuck here." He gave a small smile. "Is that so bad?"

Ali's heart was pounding away like a small captive bird. "I..." He swallowed with some difficulty, and shook his head. "Not at all." Really, the thought of wearing Aurens' clothes, spending the night close to him once again, was almost more than Ali could bear.

“Good.” Aurens went as if to move away again, then paused and turned back to Ali. With a smile, he took Ali’s hand, that slight touch sending a thrill through the Harith. “Come with me.” With a gentle tug, he led Ali down the hallway to a bathroom. “You can change out of your wet things in here. If you want, you can have a hot bath. If not, that’s fine, too. Either way, I’ll find you some dry clothes to put on.” He opened a small closet and pulled out a thick, fluffy towel. “Here’s to dry off with.” Ali accepted the towel wordlessly, unable to say a thing in the face of that beautiful smile. “I’ll be back in a few minutes with some clothes.” With that, Aurens was gone, closing the door behind him.

For several moments, Ali didn’t move, simply staring at the closed door. In all the times he had imagined being reunited with Aurens, he had never dreamed of ending up here: he and Aurens alone together at the Englishman’s house, him wearing borrowed clothing, the two of them spending the night together.

The brought him up short as he thought of a whole new question. Where was he going to sleep?

But he couldn’t think of that now. He shook his head as though to force the thought away, and tugged off his soaked keffiyeh. For the first time, he took a good look around the room. It was small, but lovely. The bathtub was deep, smooth marble. He could imagine Aurens filling it to the brim and sinking down low, a book in hand, for a long bath and a good read. The thought made him smile. Then the full image sank into his brain. Aurens in the tub. Heat rose in him. 

The men had seen each other naked before. It was a natural occurrence when traveling the way they did, constantly on the road, no true privacy, but it was more than that. They had achieved a closeness that none of their comrades ever had. No, not even Ali and Majid, who had been lovers once, before they decided they were better off as friends. He and Aurens had simply clicked, despite their bad beginning, and spent every waking moment together, even sharing separate quarters from the other men. It was only natural that these circumstances placed them in situations where they saw one another change. But there had never been any time for more than a furtive stolen glance. The thought of Aurens in the bath, actually relaxing and happy for once….it brought a flush to Ali’s face. Yes, that was a sight he would like to see.

He realized that he was still standing in his dripping clothes, nothing but his scarf removed. Hastily, he set the towel aside and stripped the rest of his clothes off. He hesitated with his underthings, but there was no point in keeping them on; they were soaked. For a moment he peered at the bath. Aurens had told him to use it, and he was tempted. But no matter how nice the hot water would feel, he would much rather spend that time with Aurens. Instead, he simply toweled off as best he could and then stood at a loss, not yet having a change of clothes, or knowing what to do with his wet robes.

The knock on the door was soft, but it made him jump nonetheless. “Ali?” Aurens cracked the door open ever so slightly. “Ali, may I come in?”

Quickly, Ali wrapped the towel around himself. “Yes, Aurens.”

Aurens stepped into the room, eyes quickly flickering to Ali’s exposed body. Ali noticed the attention and felt both terribly naked and somehow pleased by the attention. There had been times before during their travels when he had thought Aurens had been eyeing him just as he had been looking at Aurens. This made him think maybe he had been right. Still, he twitched, wanting to cover himself more but unwilling to do so. Instead, he raised his chin ever so slightly, defying Aurens to say something. “Yes?”

Aurens finally tore his eyes away from Ali’s body. Ali was pleased to see that his words had an effect; Aurens’ cheeks were ever so slightly pink. Still, there was a hint of amusement on his face. “I didn’t know you were so shy, Sherif. I’ve seen you plenty more naked than this before.”

Ali bit back a retort, adjusting the towel where he held it tight around his waist. “I didn’t know you were so fascinated in my body, English.”

That made Aurens flush, but he laughed, loud and long, which pleased Ali. “Touché.”

“Besides, you’re the one who brought me in here to change in private.” 

“True.” Aurens held up a bundle of clothes. “I brought you something dry to wear.”

“Ah. Thank you.” And, more daring then he would have thought he could be, as Ali reached for the clothes, he released his towel, letting it fall to the floor. As he did so, he watched Aurens’ reaction very carefully.

It did not disappoint.

Aurens looked shocked. His gaze instantly zeroed in on the flesh revealed when Ali dropped his towel. Immediately his eyes widened; a flush crept up his throat and into his cheeks. Ali couldn’t help but feel a stirring of happiness, of pride, and yes, he would freely admit, a touch of smug conceit.

Then Aurens seemed to realize just what he was doing; those blue eyes flickered up and met Ali’s gaze, saw the amusement on his face. Immediately the slight blush grew, his face turning bright red. He began to stammer. 

“Ah…I…..” he thrust the bundle of clothing at Ali yet again, for the Harith had not yet taken it from his hands. “Your clothes.”

It was extremely difficult for Ali to stifle his laughter. “Thank you, Aurens.” If he put a bit of a purr into his words, well, who could blame him? Aurens definitely heard it, for he glowered at Ali.

“Put the damn clothes on.”

Ali couldn’t help but laugh now. “Of course, El Aurens.” Shaking out the bundle, he discovered it was a pair of European style pajamas. That sobered him up immediately. Pajamas. He really would be spending the night with Aurens. Aurens, who looked infinitely happy to see Ali no longer laughing at his expense.

Dressing quickly, he stretched his arms out to put himself on display, offering himself up to Aurens’ approval. “Better?”

The Englishman cocked his head, considering. “Well…..” Frowning, Ali waited for the verdict. Finally, Aurens smiled. “…..I greatly prefer you in your traditional garb.” Those words made Ali’s heart flutter, pleased to hear that Aurens liked the way he looked in his native clothing. “But I must say that I do love the way you look in my pajamas.”

Oh, God. Ali was going to pass out. Those words were just too much for him.

But now Aurens was moving to Ali’s abandoned robes, scooping them up in his arms. "Now, let's wash these."

Ali wasn’t certain he was hearing correctly. "You are going to wash my robes?"

Aurens didn't seem to understand Ali's surprise. "I am." He cocked an eyebrow. "Is that a problem?"

"It is servants work!"

Again, that small smile. "I have always been your servant."

God, would Ali never stop blushing? It seemed as if their time apart had loosened Aurens' tongue. Or had it? Did he truly mean all he was saying? He certainly seemed to. Could he have felt for Ali all this time the way Ali felt for him?

Aurens was waiting for him, a smile on his face. “Come. I’ll get these cleaned up and we can get something to eat. And you can explore my house, just like you wanted.”

This was exactly what they did. Ali stayed by Aurens’ side as he washed the robes, mumbling the whole time that it was unnecessary, but Aurens only laughed and carried on, hanging them up to dry. Afterwards, he gave Ali a tour of the house. It wasn’t large by any means, but it was cozy, and so perfectly Aurens. Ali was pleasantly surprised to see small touches here and there from Aurens’ time in Arabia. The dagger Ali had given him was prominently on display. When he saw that, he couldn’t help it; he took Aurens’ hand in his and gave it a gentle squeeze. Aurens didn’t find the action strange at all, merely returned the squeeze softly, and without comment. Ali wasn’t surprised. The two of them had never needed words where important matters were concerned.

Dinner was a pleasant affair, if simple. Aurens wouldn’t stop apologizing for not having anything lavish to feed to Ali, refusing to listen to the reasoning that he hadn’t known he would have company, or the fact that they had eaten far simpler fair in their days during the war. By the time they were finished, Ali concluded that he quite enjoyed British cuisine. Also, he was very full.

By now it was getting late, though, and that feeling of nervousness was once again beginning to settle deep in Ali’s stomach. Finally, he decided to simply ask the question straight out. After all, they had always been direct with one another. Or so he thought. This day was making him wonder more and more if there weren’t a few things they might have been hiding all these years….

“Aurens.”

“Mm?” 

“Where am I to sleep?”

Aurens looked surprised, as though this were a ridiculous question. “With me.”

Ali’s eyes widened in shock. This was far more of a direct answer than he had been expecting.

Aurens took in that expression; after a moment, he burst out laughing. “Ali, the look on your face. Surely it isn’t that surprising. We’ve shared quarters before.”

Oh. OH. Ali relaxed, if only slightly. Yes, they had shared quarters before, sleeping in close contact even before they had become as intimate as they were now. Still, this day had been filled with too much innuendo, too much dancing around feelings he had long kept hidden, feelings that Aurens might also be hiding, for him to feel entirely comfortable sleeping in such tight quarters with the man. “You do not have another place for me to sleep?”

Aurens arched a brow at him. “You have a problem sharing a bed with me?” On the contrary; Ali wanted it a bit more than was healthy. “Ali, what’s wrong?” Aurens’ voice was gentle, and Ali felt himself break. He shook his head.

“No, Aurens. I have no problem.”

A smile broke across Aurens’ face, as beautiful as Ali remembered, warming every inch of him. At that moment, he would have said yes to anything Aurens had asked him. “Wonderful.” Taking Ali’s hand, he tugged the man to his feet. “Come, then.” He guided Ali from the kitchen, smiling at the Harith as he led the way to the bedroom. “I think you’ll find my bed far comfier than the ones in the hotel you’re staying in.”

“I’m sure.” Ali knew that Aurens’ bed could be as hard as rock and he would sleep more comfortably than on heaven’s softest cloud. He silently cursed himself for being such a pushover. Then they reached the bedroom and he saw the bed. It was more than large enough for two, but still small enough to keep him in close contact with Aurens all night long. He silently swore at himself yet again.

Aurens crossed to the bed and sat, patting the mattress beside him. “Come, Sherif.” That day, the title seemed to have become a term of endearment. Bizarrely enough, Ali liked it. Shaking his head, he joined Aurens with a smile on his face. 

The mattress was ridiculously soft. Being this close to Aurens sent shivers down his spine. Their bodies were nearly brushing. As nerve-wracking as it was, Ali loved it. He leaned back against the pillow, resting his head on his folded arms. “Well, English?”

Aurens laughed as Ali threw the term back at him and his use of ‘sherif’. “Well.” He tugged the covers up over the both of them and lay back beside Ali. “Comfortable?”

“Very.” Ali smiled. “It is certainly better than sleeping on the ground in a damp cave.”

The Englishman laughed. “Agreed. Though I did love our cave.”

Ali shook his head in amusement, smiling. “It was wet and nasty.”

“But it was ours.”

The words made Ali’s heart beat faster. “It was.” His voice was soft and hoarse. He stared into Aurens’ beautiful blue eyes, smiling at him. It was too much. He broke the gaze quickly with a change of subject. “Remember the ride to Akaba, when you fell asleep on your camel?”

Aurens laughed. “You hit me.”

“You deserved it.”

“I was tired!”

“You deserved it,” Ali repeated, grinning.

“At least I wasn’t as pathetic as you.”

“Me?!” Ali was indignant. “Pathetic?!”

“Yes. Building yourself a little tent wherever we camped.”

“That’s not pathetic, that is intelligent.”

The two men laughed together, loud and lengthy, until they were breathless and could laugh no more. They lay in silence for several moments, content in each other’s company and their shared memories. Finally, Aurens spoke up.

“I’ve missed you, Ali,” he whispered. Hesitantly, he dared to reach out, fingers brushing the Harith’s cheek. Heart racing, Ali turned into the touch, eyes shutting at the sensation of those graceful fingers dancing lightly over his skin.

“I’ve missed you, too.” The words were barely audible, whispered into the darkness. Encouraged by Ali’s reaction, Aurens’ touch had increased; he now cupped Ali’s cheek. Ali pressed into his hand, seeking more of that attention, not knowing what it meant but not caring, simply craving that touch, needing anything Aurens would give him. “More than I can ever say.”

With that, Aurens gave Ali a gentle tug, pulling the Harith into his arms. Ali had no objections; he snuggled close, an arm wrapping around Aurens’ waist. No more words were spoken that evening. Content in each other’s arms, they fell into the first peaceful sleep either had slept since they had parted in Damascus so long ago.

 

**~tbc~**


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally this entire story was designed to be a one-shot, until it began to get too damn long and I decided to divide it into chapters. But this chapter is on the short side, because otherwise it would have been a monster of a chapter long enough to be its own story. So I apologize, and hope you enjoy it anyway.

Waking up with Ali in his arms felt better than it had any right to. For a moment, Aurens thought he must be dreaming. Then the memories of yesterday came rushing back and a happiness filled him that he hadn’t felt in…..God…..he had no idea how long. Ali was really here with him. It was too good to be true.

“Ali,” he whispered. The man didn’t stir. “Ali.” Still nothing. So he dared to lean in and press a gentle kiss to that tan brow that he loved so much. At that he finally got a reaction, a soft “mmph?” as the man stirred, disoriented brown eyes blinking up at him. God, he was so beautiful.

“Good morning.”

“Mm.” 

Aurens stifled a laugh. He had forgotten how very much Ali was not a morning person. “I’m sorry, Ali. I didn’t mean to wake you.” He softly stroked the thick black hair. “Why don’t you try to get some more sleep. I’m going to go and make a bit of breakfast.”

Ali seemed to be too tired to object, if indeed he even comprehended what Aurens was saying. He merely shut his eyes again, only letting out a noise of objection as Aurens wriggled out from beneath him.

Before heading downstairs, Aurens paused briefly to take in the sight of Ali sleeping in his bed, in his pajamas. It wasn’t a sight he had ever expected to see, and he loved it. He had known he would love the sight of Ali in his bed (how could he not?) but he felt a faint stirring of surprise at how much he liked seeing Ali in his pajamas. Was this how Ali felt, he wondered, seeing Aurens in his own robes? He hoped so. It was a wonderful feeling, a bit possessive, and rather a bit like love.

Could Ali love him?

It had certainly seemed that way during certain moments of their journeys, and yesterday…..yes, there were many moments yesterday that lead him to believe it just might be possible.

Aurens rummaged through the kitchen, once again cursing the lack of suitable food. He would have loved to show Ali a really great British dinner, and breakfast, but there wasn’t much here. He settled for putting together a tray with some tea and crumpets, along with some jam and clotted cream. Hopefully Ali would like it. Returning upstairs, he was surprised to see that the Harith was awake, though he still looked half asleep. Not only that, he was pouting.

“Ali, what’s wrong?”

“You left.”

He struggled to suppress his smile. “I was getting you some breakfast.”

That perked Ali up. “Breakfast?” He crawled out from beneath the covers. Smiling, Aurens set the tray down on the bedside table.

“I hope you like it. I don’t have much.”

He needn’t have worried. Ali loved the crumpets, especially with the clotted cream. They ate in near silence, Aurens happily watching Ali devour the crumpets. He still couldn’t believe the man was here with him. He didn’t know what he would do when Ali left. The thought sent a sharp pain through him, and he forced it away.

All too quickly, breakfast was done. Still, they would have the day together….or so Aurens hoped. Ali at least hadn’t mentioned any other plans, and he didn’t seem in any rush to get going. At the moment he was kneeling on the bed, hands on the windowpane as he stared in wonder at the rain outside, still pouring down just as hard as it had been when they went to sleep. “Does it always rain this much?” he questioned. 

Aurens laughed softly at the intrigued delight in his friend’s voice. “Often, yes. We have a very rainy country.”

“You are lucky.”

Another chuckle. “In some ways, yes.” He watched Ali, the way those dark eyes sparkled despite the lack of sunshine, glittering with that passion and fire that lit the man from within, that fire that Aurens loved. “…..would you like to go for a walk?”

Ali’s head whipped about to look at Aurens, hopeful excitement on his face. “Could we?”

“Of course.”

The joy lighting Ali’s face was beautiful to behold, that smile almost heartbreaking in its loveliness. Then, his face fell. “But….my clothes.”

“You can borrow some of mine.”

Immediately, Ali’s eyes narrowed. “You are ashamed to be seen with me in my robes?”

Aurens’ face somehow went both hard and soft at the same time. “Ali….” Rising from his reclining position on the bed, he shifted, crawling to Ali’s side. “I thought we settled this matter back in Akaba.” His voice was soft. “Or don’t you remember?”

Ali remembered only too well. When Akaba had been taken, when they had won the day, Aurens had announced his plans to return to Cairo to tell his superiors what had been accomplished. He had stated that they would only believe the news if it came from a fellow Englishman. Ali had known the words to be true, but they had stung nonetheless; perhaps _because_ they were true. He had accused Aurens of being false, said that once in Cairo he would return to his English uniform and make fun of the Arabs and their quaint ways. _Make fun of Ali_ , the unspoken, painful words.

Aurens had merely looked at Ali with sad eyes and told him he was an ignorant man, then left, taking the two young boys with him. The boys. Ali had burned with jealousy. Waiting for Aurens to return was unbearable, but return he did, and still wearing his robes. Robes that looked suspiciously worn. He was also missing one boy. When asked about it by another member of the group, he said nothing, simply turned away. Ali got the entire story out of Farraj later that evening, including how broken Aurens had been at Daud’s death, how he had insisted upon bringing Farraj into the club at Cairo and fought anyone who tried to touch him. How he had insisted Farraj have a room and bed of his own.

“And….did he take off his robes?” Ali’s heart had been pounding through the entire story, each new fact about Aurens making him like the man that much more. But this…..he still had to know.

The boy shook his head. “Never. Only when he washed them.”

Ali looked over to where Aurens was sleeping, a well-deserved rest. That blonde hair was tousled and shimmering golden in the sunlight, the white robes obscuring most of his rail thin body, and amazingly, there was almost a hint of a smile on his face. He looked at peace, despite all he had just endured.

It was then that Ali had realized he was in love. Somewhere along the line he had fallen in love with this whirlwind of a man, this insane creature who was willing to risk his life to ride back into the burning desert to save a man he barely knew. Who stood up to his entire regiment on behalf of a young Arab boy he had only known for a few weeks. Who had won Akaba for them.

Aurens stirred suddenly, and Ali’s heart leapt into his throat. Golden lashes fluttered as Aurens blinked, momentarily disoriented, then those blue eyes settled on Ali and he smiled as though reassured. The expression made Ali’s heart skip a beat, and he swallowed with some difficulty and gave a tight nod. “Did you sleep well?”

“Very well, Ali.” 

Just the sound of his name on the man’s lips was enough to send a flutter through his heart. He was going to have to get himself under control. Then he noticed the smile on the Englishman’s face and cocked his head, puzzled. “What is it, Aurens?” 

Still smiling, Aurens raised an arm, letting the fabric of the robes drape. “I never took them off.”

Even though Ali already knew this, hearing the words from Aurens himself somehow made them still more meaningful, and warmth flooded him. 

Aurens was still watching him; he cocked a brow. “Do you believe me?”

Ali nodded. “I do. I…..I am sorry that I doubted you, Aurens. Forgive me?”

Aurens shook his head, a soft smile on his face. “There is nothing to forgive, Ali.”

 

**~tbc~**


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is similar in format to the last, as in mostly flashback. Hence the reason why I split it up into two separate chapters rather than one really long one.
> 
> Also, heads up, this is the discussion of past canon sexual assault.

Yes, Ali remembered Akaba all too well, and he felt ashamed. His face colored, and he looked away. “I’m sorry, Aurens.”

He had no way of knowing that his own words had a similar effect on his friend, that when Aurens heard Ali say his name, he got that same feeling of butterflies. “Shut up, Ali.”

Ali’s eyes widened and he turned to Aurens with a look of extreme indignation, opening his mouth, but before he could say a thing, Aurens burst into laughter. This did nothing to soothe his ruffled feelings and he puffed up with anger. Desperate to diffuse the situation, Aurens waved a hand at Ali, which wasn’t helpful, seeing as he was still laughing.

“S….sorry,” he managed to get out. “I’m sorry. Didn’t mean….to offend.” Finally he managed to take a deep breath, but he got one look at Ali’s face, torn between affronted and confused, and burst into laughter again.

“Aurens, I can assure you I do not find this at all amusing.”

“Making it…..worse.” After a moment, he got himself under control. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be rude. I was just saying-“

“You told me to shut up.”

“Yes. Because you don’t need to apologize. Just….don’t ever think I’m ashamed of you, or embarrassed in any way. I’m not.” He gently covered Ali’s hand with his, a soft smile on his face. “I could never be.”

Ali stared dumbly at Aurens. At that moment, the man could have told him to shut up a thousand times and it wouldn’t have mattered. “…..oh.” His cheeks flushed crimson and he quickly pulled his hand away. “I suppose I could wear something of yours.”

“Wonderful! It will be just like when you dressed me.” Aurens slid from the bed and headed across the room to his wardrobe. Ali watched him go, wondering what on earth Aurens would pull out for him to wear. He was surprised to hear a low chuckle.

“What,” he asked, a smile on his face. “What’s so funny?”

Turning, Aurens held up a small bundle of stained white fabric. Ali’s eyes widened as he recognized it. They were the first robes he had ever given Aurens. His own wedding robes, which he had outfitted Aurens in after they had crossed the Nefud. The robes had been so tattered after Aurens returned from his trip to Cairo that they had quickly given him new ones (wedding robes really weren’t meant to be worn for desert travel). Ali had assumed Aurens had gotten rid of these somewhere along the way. As much as that hurt, he wouldn’t have been offended. There was really no reason to carry any excess baggage on the type of travelling they did.

“You…..you kept those all this time?” The words were barely audible.

Aurens nodded. “I could never give them up.” 

Ali couldn’t wrap his head around this. Even though Aurens had new robes, he had kept these. After taking Akaba, he had been so certain Aurens would change out of his robes immediately, and Aurens never did, even though they were in shambles by the time he reached Cairo. And as for the replacement robes….he knew Aurens hadn't taken those robes off until the first time he had left them. God, that memory still hurt. Not _because_ Aurens had left, but the _reason_ for it. 

Deraa....he would never forget Deraa, no matter how much he wanted to. When those men took Aurens from him. The way he stood helplessly in the street all day, every now and then hearing a muffled cry amidst the constant thwacking sounds he knew to be the whips stinging Aurens' back. Then, it fell silent. That was even worse. He had no idea what that silence meant, and he was ready to scream. What was happening in there?

At last the doors opened, and Aurens was tossed into the street, landing face first in a puddle of mud. Ali was at his side in an instant. "Aurens," he whispered. There was no reply. "Let's get you back."

Aurens winced when he stood, and limped as he walked. Each step seemed to send pain through his entire body. Ali helped him to the camel and lifted him up, like a child. Climbing up behind, he wrapped his arms about Aurens' waist and set off for camp.

If the men had questions at Aurens' appearance, they didn't ask; one stern look from Ali silenced them and they busied themselves with other tasks. Ali caught the attention of Majid, ordering "bring us clean hot water." Then he helped Aurens into their private part of the cave and lay him down. "Come, Aurens," he said softly. "We must get you cleaned up."

"I'm fine." They were the first words Aurens had spoken since before his capture.

"Aurens, you're covered in muck." Not to mention the wounds he knew the man was hiding, but one step at a time.

Reluctantly, Aurens sat up, wincing as he did. Ali really didn't like that. "Thank you." He carefully removed the head scarf, setting it aside. 

There was a soft sound as Majid brushed the curtain aside. "Water?"

"Thank you." 

With a nod, Majid set the water at Ali's side, and was gone. Ali continued to undress Aurens, pulling open the robe, but the Englishman flinched away. 

"No."

Ali sighed. "Aurens..." He didn't know how to broach the subject. "I could hear." Blue eyes looked wildly at him, panic in them. "I know they beat you." The panic died away, Aurens relaxed.

"Oh, _that_."

Ali frowned. Something definitely wasn't right here. "....yes. Now, your wounds need to be cleaned."

Aurens let Ali tug the robe down as far as his waist, wincing slightly as the rough fabric rubbed against his back on the way down.

"Turn around," Ali ordered. "Let me see."

Aurens was clearly still hesitant, but, biting his lip, he nodded and obeyed.

Ali let out a low hiss when he saw the mess they had made of Aurens' back. It was riddled with angry red welts, the blood still dripping. "Oh, Aurens," he murmured. Dipping a cloth in the water, he began to clean the wounds as carefully as he could, whispering apologies for every gasp of pain Aurens bit back.

Finally, he was finished. Each hurt was cleaned and wrapped. "Now, Aurens, let's get you into a clean robe."

Immediately, a wary expression came into those blue eyes. "I can do it myself."

".....I never said you couldn't." Something was clearly still wrong. More had happened to Aurens than just a beating. Something else that he did not want Ali to know about. Something hidden beneath his robe. "Aurens, what are you hiding from me?"

"Nothing."

"Aurens!"

Brown eyes met blue in a fierce contest of the wills, but Aurens was already far too close to the breaking point, and break he did. With shaking hands, he shed the rest of the robes. Ali saw the problem immediately with a sickening punch to the gut. The robes were wet with blood...blood that matched the crimson slick on Aurens' thighs. 

Ali felt he would be sick. That long silence after the lashing while he sat and waited for Aurens...this is what had been happening. They had been...raping him. He could barely even think the word.

"...Aurens-"

"Don't." The word was abrupt. "Don't pity me like that."

"Pity you?"

"I never wanted you to know." Aurens was furiously trying to clean himself up with the already ruined robes. "Now you'll always look at me differently, think of me differently..."

Ali couldn't believe what he was hearing. "No I won't!"

"Yes you will. No matter what you say, you will. I'll never be the same in your eyes. I'm broken now."

But Ali had had enough. He grabbed Aurens' hands, halting the frenzied cleaning as he pulled the man into a kiss. The tattered robe slipped through Aurens’ fingers, forgotten, as Ali kissed him. His eyes fluttered shut, hands coming on reflex to tangle in Ali's thick, messy hair. 

The kiss lasted an age and yet not long enough by far. Ali pulled away only far enough to look Aurens in the eye, their noses almost brushing as he spoke. "You listen to me, Aurens. You are NOT BROKEN. You are El Aurens, the man who saved my people and brought us so far. No one else can determine your worth, Aurens. You write your own story. You taught me that. These men here? They wrote nothing for you. You are worth a million of them."

Aurens was staring at him with wide eyes, mouth agape. "......Aurens?"

".....you kissed me."

Ali's eyes widened in horror as the full impact of his actions sank in; he turned fuchsia. ".....ah......I had to get your attention somehow."

"Oh."

"Right." There was a long moment's silence. "......did you hear a word I said, or were you just thinking about me kissing you?"

Amazingly, Aurens blushed. Blushed! It wasn't something Ali had ever seen before, and it was lovely to behold. "No, I...I heard."

Ali arched a brow. "And?"

"...I..." Aurens offered a weak smile. "Thank you."

He seemed to feel a bit better after that, though he was still extremely melancholy. Getting him to eat that night was a struggle. Sleeping, too. Ali could hear him tossing all night, trying to find a position that didn't hurt any part of him. The few times he did drift off, he woke up from nightmares.

Ali placed a hand gently on his shoulder and recoiled when Aurens cried out in alarm.

"It’s me, Aurens, it's only me."

"Sorry, Ali." His breath was coming fast and panicked. Ali felt terrible.

"No, I am sorry. I should not have startled you that way." 

They fell silent, and for several minutes, Ali was certain that Aurens had fallen back to sleep. Then, a voice, soft and hesitant in the darkness.

"Ali?"

"Yes, Aurens?"

"Will you.....hold me?"

Ali thought his heart was going to pound a hole in his chest. "Of course, Aurens. Come." Aurens shifted across the floor until his back was pressed up against Ali's front. Carefully, Ali wrapped an arm around Aurens' waist. "....is this okay?" he asked hesitantly. 

In answer, Aurens slotted his fingers with Ali's, giving his hand a squeeze. "This is _perfect_."

Ali definitely had to agree, even more so when he woke up the next morning to find that Aurens had shifted during the night and was now facing him with his own arm slung about Ali's shoulders, head nuzzled beneath Ali's chin. Ali was not going to object to the new sleeping arrangement.

Then Aurens woke up and said he was leaving, and the spell was broken. Ali was upset, but couldn't really blame him. When you got to the bottom of it all, none of this was Aurens' fight to begin with. He had done so much and taken them so far when he really had no personal stake in the matter. And after what he had just endured in Deraa....it was enough to make anyone leave. But to lose him now.....Ali didn't know how he would bear it.

Aurens didn't stay away for long, though. He was back, only something had changed. Ali didn't know what those English officers had said or done, but this Aurens was different than before. True, Deraa had changed him, but not like this. Not this bad. The Aurens he knew would not have charged into battle like a madman, killing until he broke down, shaking.

But Ali knew that his Aurens was still in there somewhere, so he picked this broken man up and got him back on his camel, silently cursing these Englishmen for what they had done, for damaging the purest person he had ever known.

Then at last came Damascus...the thing all of this had been building towards. All the battles, all the planning, long hours spent with Aurens learning European politics....all of it come to nothing because the many tribes couldn't learn to work together. Damascus gone in less than a day.

And this time, Aurens was leaving as well, leaving for good. Their goodbye was stiff, almost formal...maybe because they both feared it would be their last. 

"You tried very hard to give us Damascus."

_Thank you,_ he was screaming internally. _You did so much for us. Thank you._

"It’s what I came for." _All I wanted was to help you. I never wanted to be part of this monster my country is creating._ “And then—” But Aurens didn’t finish that sentence. Ali would never know what he was going to say. What it was that had become dearer to Aurens than giving them Damascus.

Ali bowed politely when he had very different desires at heart. Then he turned and left as quickly as courtesy would allow. Left before Aurens could see him cry.

Unfortunately, Auda did. "You love him," the man accused.

"I fear him."

And it was true. He did fear Aurens. He feared how much he loved him, and the kind of control that love gave Aurens over him. He feared what his life would become once Aurens was gone, taking Ali's heart with him.

He couldn’t help a sudden burst of laughter. It all seemed so ironic now that he had given Aurens his wedding robes. It's not like he would ever have a use for them.

 

**~tbc~**


	5. Chapter 5

Ali touched the robes wordlessly. Aurens smiled as Ali gently fingered the worn fabric. “I always wondered if you’d come looking for them, someday when you found your bride.”

Ali couldn’t help but blush at the words, remembering the day he had first given the robes to Aurens, the smile that had graced the man’s face when Ali had said they were his wedding robes. _"You’re certain no lovely lady is going to be offended that I wore them first?"_

_"There is no lovely lady," Ali had grumbled, embarrassed. Aurens had merely laughed._

_"There will be. Someday."_

_And Ali had felt a strange sensation of butterflies in his stomach. It wasn’t until a fortnight later that he recognized the feeling for what it was: love. He didn’t want any lovely ladies, any ladies at all. He never wanted anyone but Aurens._

Still rubbing the worn fabric between his fingers, Ali tried to smile, somehow managing a weak one. “There never was any chance of that.”

Immediately, he could feel something change, some tension in the air that wasn’t there before. “….oh?” Aurens’ voice was soft, and there was something in it that Ali wasn’t used to hearing. A hesitance. Aurens was never hesitant. “Why is that?”

Ali found himself unable to answer, unable to take that final step. He merely stared at the fabric as if the years’ worth of memories that lay within it would give him all the words he needed.

When Aurens spoke again, his voice was so soft that Ali could barely hear it, no longer merely hesitant, almost scared. “That night….in the cave, when you kissed me.”

That got Ali’s attention, and his head snapped up; he stared at Aurens with huge eyes. Aurens looked as nervous as he sounded.

"….it wasn't just to shut me up….was it?" 

Ali wanted desperately to deny it, so scared to tell the truth and risk it all, but he couldn't, couldn't deny the pleading in those brilliant blue eyes. And did he dare to dream….was that hope on Aurens’ face? He had to answer, no matter what it might cost him. 

"No," he whispered hoarsely. Heart pounding in his chest, he waited for Aurens' judgement. Instead there were lips on his with bruising force, fingers tugging at his hair as though Aurens were trying to pull Ali inside himself. For a moment he was too startled to respond. Then he realized that what he had been longing for for so long was really happening. He wasn't going to let it pass him by. Before Aurens took his surprise as disinterest, he pulled Aurens to him with crushing force, their bodies flush together so he could feel every inch of that lean body he loved so much. Aurens let out a surprised but happy sound, and Ali swallowed it with a groan, nipping at his lower lip. The sound that action elicited was somehow even better, a shocked little yelp with a hint of pleasure to it. Oh God, the thought of coaxing sounds of pleasure from Aurens' lips....it was too much to handle.

By the time they broke apart, both men were panting heavily.

"I knew it," Aurens gasped. "I knew I wasn't imagining it."

Ali felt a wave of guilt at the knowledge that for all these years, Aurens had been torn up wondering about what had happened; quickly overcome by the realization that Aurens felt the same as he did. The knowledge washed over him in a huge wave crashing about his head, heartbeat pounding in his ears. He was unable to find words, so he kissed Aurens again, cupping the cut jawline in his hands. Pulling away, he shook his head. “No, Aurens,” he whispered. “You weren’t imagining it.” 

The look in Aurens’ eyes made up for every moment lost, every day spent missing Aurens, wondering how he was doing, what he was thinking. That look was pure love. It overwhelmed Ali and he surged forward to claim Aurens’ mouth in another demanding kiss. Aurens clung to him, fingers digging into Ali’s shoulders so hard he was certain they would leave bruises. He was tugging at the borrowed pajamas, pulling Ali to him with greater force, wanting him closer, _needing_ him closer. Ali had no objections to that. He let himself be tugged along, his weight crashing into Aurens with more force than either had been expecting. It upset their balance and they went tumbling backwards onto the bed.

Ali had no idea how he didn’t knock all the wind out of Aurens, landing half on top of him like that, but the blonde was laughing at the sudden relocation. Ali smiled as he watched, so happy to see the light back in those eyes. He cupped Aurens’ cheek, loving the feel of it beneath his fingers. That seemed to sober Aurens up. He blinked up at Ali as the Harith ran his thumb across Aurens’ lower lip, teasingly light, relishing in the softness. Was it just him, or did Aurens’ breath quicken? 

He didn’t have to wonder for long. That passion that had overwhelmed Aurens mere moments before returned full force. He found the front of Ali’s shirt and tugged, fingers going to work at the buttons.

Ali was stunned. This was moving rather a bit faster than he had expected. “Aurens.” But the Englishman either didn’t hear him or wasn’t listening; he simply continued to work at Ali’s shirt. Or to try, anyway. He fumbled with the buttons, fingers shaking. “Aurens.” Ali gently put his hand over Aurens’, halting the proceedings. Blue eyes looked up at him. “What are you doing?”

“I want this off.” The tone of voice was frustrated in more ways than one: with the buttons, with himself for being unable to get them undone, and possibly with Ali for being so oblivious to what it was that Aurens was doing. Ali couldn’t help a soft chuckle.

“I can see that.” He raised Aurens’ hand to his lips and placed a gentle kiss against the soft skin. “Slow down.” His tone was soft, soothing, like melted caramel. It sent a shiver down Aurens’ spine.

“I don’t _want_ to slow down,” he answered petulantly. But there was more to it than that. Aurens wanted Ali, that much was clear, but there was something else. Something had him on edge. Ali wanted to know what it was.

“Well, you have to.” He stroked Aurens’ cheek. “Lie back.” Blue eyes stared defiantly at him. Well, two could play at that game. Leaning in, he gave Aurens a kiss. A slow, deep kiss. His hand cupped the man’s cheek, coaxing him to relax. It didn’t take much doing. Aurens melted in his arms, and Ali leaned him back against the pillows. 

Aurens didn’t even notice his relocation until the kiss was over. Then, startled, he glanced about himself, finally glaring up at a very pleased Ali. “Cheater.”

Ali merely laughed. “Relax.” He finished what Aurens had begun, unbuttoning and stripping off his top, relishing in the way Aurens’ eyes greedily took in his naked torso. “Better?”

Those graceful hands reached for him, trailing over his taut stomach, his hard muscles. Aurens couldn’t tear his eyes away. Finally, he looked up at Ali with a smile. “Much.” 

Ali couldn’t help but laugh, quite breathless from the soft caresses. Leaning in, he kissed Aurens again, and this time the man offered no objection, merely wound his arms around Ali, fingers teasing through the hair at the nape of his neck. It felt amazing, as did Aurens’ body beneath his. He had dreamed of this moment for too many years, too many sleepless nights. Then, he gently flicked open the top button of Aurens’ pajama top, and the spell was broken. The man immediately stiffened. Ali pulled away, looking down in confusion. “What is it. What’s wrong?”

Aurens didn’t answer. It didn’t look as though he _could_ answer. His eyes were wide, face frozen in a look of almost fear. Then, he shook his head, a tight, stiff motion. “No.”

Ali was lost. “No?”

“No,” the man repeated. He began wriggling, trying to get out from under Ali. Not wanting to alarm him, Ali let him go, watching in concern as Aurens sat up, hands trembling as they redid his top button.

Ali simply could not figure out what was wrong. Everything had been fine. Aurens had been the one to initiate contact. He had even been trying to take Ali’s clothes off mere moments before. Then, a thought struck him, a terrible memory. Aurens in that cave, trying to cover himself up, to hide. _“I'll never be the same in your eyes,”_ he had said. _“I'm broken now."_

The memory broke Ali’s heart, as did the sight of Aurens sitting there, clutching his shirt shut, looking anywhere but at Ali. “….Aurens,” he said softly.

“Don’t.” The response was immediate. “Don’t pity me.”

They were the exact same words as in the cave, and it confirmed just what Ali suspected: Aurens thought that something had been taken from him in Deraa, that it had left him somehow tainted or damaged. Somehow Ali had to find a way to show Aurens that this was not so…to show him how beautiful he truly was.

"Aurens, do you trust me?" His voice was soft as he asked the question. Aurens still looked nervous; he eyed Ali warily. "Do you trust me?" Ali repeated. 

Aurens was clearly still hesitant, but he nodded, and the truth was evident in his eyes. "I do."

Ali slowly shifted closer on the bed until he was right beside Aurens. He reached for the hand that had tight hold of Aurens’ pajama top and, gently taking it in his, placed a soft kiss upon it. Turning it over, he kissed the palm. Aurens watched him with wide, confused eyes. Ali merely looked to him with a tender smile on his face and reached for him, lightly cupping his jaw. Leaning in, he kissed Aurens softly but insistently, putting every ounce of feeling into that single kiss. At first Aurens was hesitant, unresponsive, but Ali was determined, and soon Aurens was kissing back in kind. His hands nervously found their way to Ali’s shoulders, as though needing something to hold on to. But then Ali let his hand trail down Aurens’ throat, and the Englishman jumped again, hand flying to his shirt once more.

“No.”

“Aurens.” Ali’s voice was gentle, but firm. “You said you trust me.”

It looked very much as if Aurens wanted to object, but after a moment, he nodded. Ali was pleased. Moving very slowly, he undid the top button of Aurens’ shirt. It was clear Aurens was uncomfortable, but he remained still. Ali pressed a kiss to his throat, feeling the way Aurens shivered at the touch. It was not an unpleasant reaction, and he was encouraged. He left another kiss beside Aurens’ collarbone. “You’re _beautiful_ ,” he murmured.

Aurens’ breath caught at the words. “….Ali,” he whispered. 

Ali said nothing, merely continued on the path he had begun, slowly working Aurens’ shirt open and kissing every inch of skin as it was bared, whispering to Aurens how beautiful he was, how perfect. He made certain to pay attention to the scars he could still feel across Aurens’ back, tracing the patterns feather-light with his fingertips. At the first touch, Aurens jumped, but the soft caresses and kisses, the whispering words of how lovely he was, soon had him melting in Ali’s arms. 

By the time his shirt was off, Ali had Aurens back against the pillows again. He had just finished laying trails of kisses down his belly, had tugged his pajama pants just low enough to kiss each jutting hipbone. “I love these,” he murmured.

“….Ali….” The name was breathless upon Aurens’ lips. Ali hoped it was for the reason he thought it was. Taking a deep breath, he gently unlaced the pajama pants and, with the greatest of care, tugged them down. He heard a soft gasp and quickly glanced up at Aurens to make sure this was okay. He didn’t want to overstep his boundaries. Sure enough, the man was staring down at him, blue eyes blown wide but not with anger or fear, no, with something more like….desire? 

Ali waited, wanting to be certain it was okay to move on. Finally, Aurens gave him a quick tight nod. That was enough for him. He laid a last kiss on those lovely hipbones and then worked his way down, ignoring the one place he usually would be paying the most attention to in this type of situation. He wanted Aurens to know that this wasn’t about sex (though of course he would be happy enough for that to happen later). This was about Aurens, and how absolutely perfect he was. Deraa hadn’t tainted him. Nothing could taint him.

So Ali worked his way down Aurens’ body, laying kisses over his legs, stroking his soft skin, pleasantly surprised at the laugh he coaxed out of the man when he trailed his finger along the arch of his foot (who would have guessed Aurens was ticklish?). Then, and only then did he allow his fingers to trail ever so lightly over Aurens’ groin.

“This,” he said softly, loving the sharp intake of breath, the way Aurens’ stomach twitched as he gasped at the touch. “All of you. Beautiful.”

But it seemed as if Aurens had finally had enough. He leaned forwards and grabbed Ali, yanking him into a fierce, bruising kiss. Ali had no objections. He cupped Aurens’ face, shocked to feel that it was wet with tears. When he pulled away, he could see the tears in those blue eyes, but was relieved to see that they were happy ones.

"Thank you," Aurens whispered. 

Ali shook his head. "I meant every word."

“I know.” Aurens hadn’t let go of Ali; his hands were now in his hair, now running over his face, unwilling to stop touching him for even an instant. “That’s why I have to thank you.”

The Harith felt a tiny wave of frustration. He took Aurens’ face in his hands. “Listen to me, Aurens, and listen closely. I meant what I said that day back in Deraa. Those men did not damage you in any way. You are not broken; you are not tainted. You are the most wonderful, perfect man I have ever known, Aurens.”

Those blue eyes were now swimming with happy tears. “….Ali…” He seemed at a loss for words. “….kiss me again?”

The whisper sent a thrill through Ali; the smile that broke across his face was so big that it made his cheeks ache. “I will never say no to that request.”

Leaning in, he gently pressed a kiss to Aurens’ lips. It didn’t stay gentle for long; Aurens wasn’t having it. His hands found Ali’s hair and tugged hard, just bordering on pleasure and pain. 

Fine, then. Ali could work with that. He shifted closer, settling his weight atop Aurens once more. Aurens wrapped his leg about Ali’s waist, seeking to tug him closer. A thought occurred to Ali and, with a smile, he ran his hand over Aurens’ knee and down his calf, teasing over the sole of his foot.

It got the desired reaction. Aurens let out a tiny yelp and kicked. Ali burst into laughter. Aurens glared. “It’s not funny!”

"It is so. I never would have thought you were ticklish.” Again he ran a fingertip along the arch of Aurens’ foot. Aurens laughed and tried to kick free. 

"Stop it." 

Grinning, Ali ducked down and planted a kiss along the surprisingly ticklish flesh. “No. I love it.”

“You’re a brat. What happened to kissing me?”

“I was. You are the one who broke away.”

“Oh, don’t even try to play innocent!” Aurens pushed to a sitting position, glaring as Ali laughed at his indignation. “As if I’m not going to pull away when you tickle me.”

“I have no idea what you are talking about.” But Ali was smiling, laughter in his eyes. When Aurens opened his mouth to object again, Ali tugged him forwards into a kiss. It immediately silenced any objections Aurens could have had to just about anything, and the room fell silent for several moments as he allowed himself to be tugged back into the pillows and soundly kissed. Aurens was breathless by the time Ali pulled away, but he wasn’t complaining. Far to the contrary. He could easily get used to life without air if this was the takeaway.

“Ali?”

“Mm?” The Harith was propped up on an elbow, smiling down at him. God, he was so beautiful. Aurens bit his lip.

“When do you leave?”

That caused the smile to falter on Ali’s face. “….tomorrow.”

Aurens had been expecting this answer….maybe because he had told himself to plan for the worst case scenario, and the only thing worse than tomorrow would be if Ali left that very day. “Oh.”

The pain in Ali’s face was clear as day. Not just his own pain at the thought of leaving, but pain at the knowledge of the sadness that Aurens was feeling. “I am sorry.”

That look of frustration that Ali knew all too well came over Aurens’ face, that one that said he was completely fed up with Ali. “Why are you sorry? It’s not your fault.” He chewed his lower lip. “….no idea when you’ll be back?”

Ali’s heart broke even more. “I---” he cut off the apology before he could finish it, knowing Aurens would only scold him again. But Aurens knew what he was going to say, and smiled wanly.

“I didn’t think so.”

Ali hated this. He hated being so far apart, especially now that he knew how Aurens felt. And seeing Aurens here, in England? Aurens didn’t fit in here, with these people. He was other. He was special. He belonged in Arabia, where he had been so happy, where everything had come so naturally to him. Arabia, with the friends he had made, friends who had become family.

With Ali. Who loved him.

But would he come?

There was only one way to find out.

"You should return to the desert." Ali twirled a lock of golden hair in his fingers, remembering the way it had shone beneath the blazing desert sun. "You don't belong here."

A smile graced Aurens' face, but it was that strange kind of humor, the sort that wasn't very funny at all. "Ali, I don't know that I belong anywhere."

Ali felt anger stirring. "You belong with _me!_ " The words burst forth, impulsive and fierce. Blue eyes snapped to Ali with surprise. The Harith returned the gaze unflinchingly.

That surprise faded, giving way to amusement. This time, however, that amusement was real, not that fake smile he used when his mind was elsewhere, pained. "Do I, now."

"Yes," Ali answered, in a tone that brooked no argument. "You do."

Aurens' lips twitched. Ali could tell he was trying not to smile, could tell how very happy he was. "Well, alright, then."

The warmth that flooded Ali was hotter than a million desert suns. "You will come?"

The softest chuckle; Aurens reached out to stroke Ali's cheek. "Ali, you should know by now that I would follow you anywhere."

Ali could feel his cheeks flush; he smiled. "I was the one who did the following."

Aurens laughed softly. "I suppose you did. But it would have been hard to go anywhere without you by my side."

The words sent Ali’s heart aflutter yet again. He couldn’t help it; he leaned in and stole another kiss. Aurens laughed into the kiss, hands cupping Ali’s face, pressing up to meet him. “I love you,” Ali whispered.

Aurens’ eyes widened; he stared at Ali in shock. Ali swallowed, mouth dry with nervousness. But he refused to take the words back. “I love you,” he repeated.

There was no verbal answer, at least, not immediately. Instead there were hands in his hair, gripping tightly as they pulled him into a fierce kiss.

“I love you, too.” Aurens lightly stroked Ali’s cheek, traced his thumb over Ali’s lush lower lip. “I’ve always loved you.”

Even as the words flooded Ali with happiness, he couldn’t help but tease. “Even when we first met?”

Aurens laughed. “Well, no. I rather hated you then.”

Ali joined in the laughter. “I thought so. I did not make the best impression.”

“Not so much.” Aurens ran his fingers through Ali’s thick curls. “But it didn’t take long for you to change my mind. The ride to Akaba was all it took.”

The Harith smiled. “I am glad.” 

They were silent for several moments, content to lay close together, Aurens running his fingers through Ali’s hair. “What about you?” he asked at last. “How long before you fell for me?”

Ali chuckled. “It took a little while. I was quite taken with you at first, I will admit. But then when I met you again at Feisal’s….you were so stubborn. I was convinced you would kill us all.” 

Aurens laughed. “You had good reason to worry.”

“I did.” Ali absently curled closer to Aurens as he thought back to those days. “And then you proved me wrong. I could not believe it.”

Aurens couldn’t help but smile as he remembered the expression on Ali’s face when he rode out of the desert. The shock there, and the respect….and yet, there was a look of almost…pride? Ali looked as if he were proud of Aurens, and proud to know him, proud to have Aurens by his side. Somehow that felt almost better than saving Gasim. And having Ali tuck him in that night….it had sent a flutter through his chest that he could not explain. He, who had never had any sort of feelings for anyone before, female or male. It was strange and new, and he hadn’t been sure what to make of it.

“And that…..that was when you realized?”

Ali nodded. “That was when I began to realize.” He stroked Aurens’ chest, reveling in the happy sigh it drew forth. Aurens’ words had filled him with a confidence he hadn’t had before. A confidence that gave him the nerve to ask the question he’d been thinking about for years, dreaming of. He was terrified, but he knew he had to take that plunge.

"I think we should get you some new robes."

"What?!" Aurens sounded horrified. "No! I could never give these up! They mean too much to me!" 

Despite his nervousness at what he was about to ask, Ali couldn't help but be amused at the panic in Aurens' voice. Amused, and touched at just how very attached Aurens was to those old robes, once so brilliant, long since worn tan with dirt and blood, battered and torn.

He shook his head. "I was thinking a second set. A special set."

“Mine ARE sp--" Aurens broke off mid-sentence. "Special? What do you mean?"

Ali had to smother a laugh at the way Aurens stubbornly refused to quit defending those tattered robes. It had all but erased his nervousness. "I was thinking..." he toyed with Aurens’ hand, fingers stroking the Englishman's long, slim ring finger. "....maybe some wedding robes of your own?"

He felt Aurens stiffen beside him. Seconds later the man was above him, blue eyes wide as he stared down at Ali with surprise. Surprise, and something else, something Ali wasn't quite sure of. Was it hope? Did he dare to dream....

"Are you asking what I think you are, Ali?"

The man could feel his cheeks flushing, but he wasn't going to dance around the question. "I am asking you to marry me."

Aurens didn't keep him waiting. A smile more beautiful than anything he had seen the Englishman wear broke across Aurens' face, like the world's most glorious sunrise. Then he was on Ali, hands in his curls as he kissed the Harith with everything he had. " _Yes_ ," he answered breathlessly. "Yes!"

Ali was on fire, as if his heart had burst into flames from so much happiness, flooding him with its heat. He couldn’t help pulling Aurens into another kiss. His own smile was so wide, it made his cheeks ache. It was matched only by the dazzling grin still setting Aurens’ face aglow.

Then, Aurens paused, cocking his head. "....is that legal in your country? Your religion?" He didn't think it was. God knows it wasn't in his.

Ali couldn't help looking away for a moment. "Strictly speaking, no." His gaze returned to Aurens, dead serious. "But I want a life with you, Aurens. And I could never consider you anything less than my true husband."

Aurens had always been beautiful. From the moment they had met, Ali had regarded him as one of the loveliest creatures he had ever seen, soon to become THE loveliest the more he got to know him. But he had never been more beautiful than he was at this moment; radiant smile on his face, lit from within with a joy Ali had never seen before, brilliant blue eyes aglow with happiness and love. Love for him, Ali. He found himself being kissed again, kissed until he was dizzy, head spinning.

“I love you,” Aurens whispered. Ali, who had never considered himself an emotional man, found hot pinpricks burning his eyes, and realized he was on the verge of tears. Even more surprising was the fact that he wasn’t ashamed of it. He simply pulled Aurens close, and kissed him again.

“I love you too, Aurens. More than life itself.”

 

**~*~**

 

True to his word, Ali got a new pair of wedding robes for Aurens, as well as some for himself. Because same-sex marriage was not strictly allowed, they could not have a real marriage ceremony. Instead, they went to Feisal to tell him of their intentions. They planned to live in his kingdom and wanted his blessing before doing so. Fortunately enough, this was something Feisal was more than happy to give. He even went so far as to propose a makeshift ceremony for them. It was an extremely simple affair, just a few words spoken, taking up no more than ten minutes. There was no one else there save Majid, and Auda, who happened to be visiting. Ali sort of wanted to punch him for the smug grin he got when he found out their intentions, but he couldn’t really be upset, not when he and Aurens were getting married.

To his shock, Aurens had brought rings with him. He had purchased them in England before they left, a matching set. Ali’s hand shook when Aurens slipped the golden band on his finger. He had never thought he would end up here, _they_ would end up here. But later that night, curled up with Aurens beneath the starry night sky, he realized there was never anywhere else things could have ended. This was exactly where he was meant to be: by Aurens’ side.

He felt the soft brush of Aurens’ lips against his cheek. “What’re you thinking about?”

Smiling, Ali shook his head. “Nothing. Just how happy I am. How much I love you.”

He could hear the smile in Aurens’ voice, in the soft chuckle. “I love you too, Sherif.”

Laughing at the word, that so-formal title which Aurens had claimed for his pet name, he poked the man. “ _English_.”

The two men laughed together, cuddled close in the sweet night air as the sky darkened and the stars winked into being one by one, as bright and shining as their future.

 

**~fin~**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All of my research into the matter states that homosexual relationships were tolerated, but marriage was not an option. So I hope this is satisfactory.
> 
> The title for the work was taken from Marie Digby's song 'Unfold', which reminds me very much of the Lawrence from the film.
> 
> _You see I am the bravest you will ever come to meet_   
>  _Yet I shrink down to nothing at the thought of someone_   
>  _really seeing me._
> 
> _But I don't wanna go on living being so afraid of showing_   
>  _someone else my imperfections._   
>  _And even though my feet are trembling_   
>  _And every word I say comes stumbling_   
>  _I will bare it all... watch me unfold._
> 
> _These hands that I hold behind my back are_   
>  _bound and broken by my own doing,_   
>  _And I can't feel anything anymore._   
>  _I need a touch to remind me I'm still real._
> 
> _My soul, it's dying to be free_   
>  _I can't live the rest of my life so guarded._   
>  _It's up to me to choose what kind of life I lead._
> 
> _I will allow someone to love me._


End file.
